February 07, 2006

All of me- SPT

Today is Tuesday, so you know that that means. This is a warning, this month's SPT is all about ALL OF ME. And I have that for you. It isn't a bad outfit or hairdo. It isn't an ugly way I can twist my face or a deformed toe. This ugly is something all together different.
This is a really hard post. I have debated long and hard about actually doing this, but the point of this month's SPT is to show something about ourselves that is "ugly" EDITED: or rather parts of ourselves that we usually hide because we don't like them-
this is the very first thing that popped in my head when I read about what our goal was for the month-
So here is the "ugliest" or the part of me (physically) that I hide the most- part of me.

A little bit of waxing could take care of this issue, but to be honest I am embarrassed when I go in to the salon to have them removed it. I hate to go.... I can only imagine what the estitician is thinking and it kills me.
I like my belly otherwise. I don't think it is huge. As a matter of fact in the past week I have had different people say, "you are so little" that makes me happy I guess- but it is the un-feminine hair that drives me crazy. The "happy trail"- that makes me so unhappy.

The fact that woman, in an ideal world are supposed to be as bald from their big buoyant breasts down to their feet as a 7 year old child makes me crazy. It bothers me that our culture can't accept that hair grows on our body.

It bothers me that it bothers me ... It is an ugly circle. I would probably feel more at ease with my tummy even if it isn't flat and strong if it were smooth and silky and, well, hairless.

So what does one do when she looks down and sees this sort of thing? She goes along with her usual after work routine. She has dinner:

Asparagus and pretend chicken nuggets with garlic and thousand island dressing.

She blogs.

She knits:

(Odessa Progress)

And she does her yoga homework so that she remembers how important the inside is, not the outside.

She lives and she laughs and she loves, and well, she has a hair tummy.

nobody is perfect.


I thought about this post all night- I had dreams about what you would all say, or not say and maybe never come back to my little humble blog again. Because WHY,oh WHY was this woman putting up a picture of here gut? (It is amazing what this blog thing gets us to do)- to put ourselves out there for people to see- people who I have never met - and if I wasn't "into" blogging like I am I would probably think or say "can you believe what is out on the internet? Can you believe what people put pictures up of? What they talk about?"

is this blogging thing kinda like talking on the cell phone in the doctor's office waiting room? Obnoxious like that? No, I don't think so-

No, because you don't have to listen to the conversation, you can disconnect yourself. You can surf on and read something else. So even though this blog thing seems really crazy and weird to some people that I tell, I still really like it. It has given me an outlet for my thoughts- I am finally writing again. It has given me some really great new people to know, even if it is only through cyber space, and it has given me amazing inspiration for my photography and my knitting. And because of that I am happy- hairy tummy and all (which by the way I shaved this morning while in the shower... smooth as a baby's bottom I tell you- should I post "after pictures" tonight? just for good measure? just kidding, I will spare you another gut shot...)


Liz said...

there is always something about the body, about our own body, that we find to dislike, to be repulsed by.... I was born with a very large mole on the back of my left leg. I did not wear shorts or short skirts in public till I was 27. Seriously. People always feel the need to comment. "Did you know you have a big black mole on the back of your leg?" Gee... thanks for letting me know. "You should probably get that checked out." Wow... thanks again.

So anyway as I read your SPT, I thought, I bet all of us have a little or a big something about our bodies that makes us feel uncomfortable and weird and unworthy and , well, somehow, not beautiful or wonderful enough. What we do to ourselves, what society does to the psyche, what judgement and criticism from others do.... it is a powerfully negative thing.

Thanks for doing this post, and continue to celebrate your belly hairs...

tammy said...

you are such a beutiful person, inside AND out! if it doesn't bother you, don't worry abou it. And if it really bothers you don't feel bad about the fact it bothers you. feeling guilty about feeling is so silly! and for goodnes sake, don't be embarassed to go to an esthetician, it's not your job to wonder what they MIGHT be thinking. YOU are paying THEM to do their job. If we all didn't have unwanted hair to be removed, they wouldn't have a job. Smile you beautiful girl, & be proud, not guilt ridden about your body & mind. xoxo

Jen said...

I'm sure the esthetician has seen far worse things than that. I have the same problem and working in labor and delivery I see it all the time. Just enjoy being a woman and actually being able to see that part of your body!! :) Loving my belly hairs as I type this!! LOL

Off subject - Could you by chance tell me the html code for the buttons in your sidebar for other peoples blogs. I have buttons under my links, but no one can see them. I see them from my home computer, but no where else. Obviously I have something wrong with my code. Thanks!!

Julia said...

Hey there, I've been thinking about your post all day, too, and I just had to check what the reactions were...
When I first saw the picture, I thought the post was going to be on belly button lint;-)
Um, well, the first time I saw hair on a woman's belly, which was not too long ago, I was pretty irritated. First of all, because you never get to see any women's hairy bellies, and then because this girl was totally lovin' it;-) She had low-riding jeans on with a short top, hanging out at a popular public place in town enjoying the sunlight. I did tell my girlfriends about it. I'd probably wax it if I had any.
But I gotta say, it was kind of inspiring.
And I do think it's bold of you to post this picture (in a good way).
Jen posted a great comment, and I'm sure that belly hair is not that uncommon among women (like hair around the areolas...), they're all just doing a great job of covering it up/ hiding it.
After all, it's only hair. It grows in all places besides the palms and soles, it can be removed or affectionately played with.

Becky said...

It seems that being a brunette guarantees some extra hair. I think it adds interest, texture. It is a wonderful part of who we are.

Nessie Noodle said...

Everyone~ I just wanted to say thank you. It was a big step to post this- but it was so therapeutic, and it was amazing to see what you all wrote in response. This is why I am hooked on the blogging... It is like having a great group of people surrounding you and having a really amazing conversation with them, not sometimes but all the time!

Sedie said...

Thanks for putting yourself out there. I'm not yet a part of Self Portrait Tuesday, but I too have a hairy belly. . . Always shaving and, yes, hiding. We all have some part of us that we want hidden away. . . but all those things make us beautifully unique!

Karen said...

Congratulaions on being such a brave and beautiful person...inside and out! ~Karen